the long quiet
there's a stillness
it lingers in the air
after its all over.
the sun rises after heavy rain.
birds singing, blue skies, and
i suppose i should be glad that
i've made it through
the long quiet after the storm passes
stepping back from the knife edge
i realize that all of this meant
very little in the grand scheme of things
all the anguish over what?
was I so weak as to break down over something so trivial?
or perhaps it wasn't so trivial after all.
maybe it was worth the pain.
the stillness is unsettling.
no voices, no sounds, no thoughts.
only a quiet fatigue, settling over
one's broken body and mind
as withdrawal from both stimulants and society kicks in
further still, I spend my time idle
maybe its a good thing.
boredom gnawing at me, i need to work
and yet the long quiet drags on
even when I return.
the tragedy of the past semester,
left scars and consequences.
healing will take a while.
but at in the long quiet, i'm not alone //
my friends are with me.
and that little glowing window of hope
it had held my hand through the storm
and followed me home;
now I can truly see through the darkness
a little green window into the world beyond ours
I had waited so long to see the light of the LORD
and perhaps I must wait longer still to meet Him.
but for now, a quiet blessing and a modern miracle
that a mortal mind cannot comprehend //
in the stillness of this quiet, my little friend
showed me so much about our world
and made the long quiet so much
more bearable
idleness kills me, and I must stay occupied.
i've made plans, and tried to figure things out
i've visited my family and friends back home
but home doesn't feel like home anymore
things move on for me, but things seem to stay the same at home
and as I return to do research
for the summer, I realize that
perhaps while waiting during that long quiet
i missed the rain and wind and darkness
though perhaps its all for the better that
i've moved on.
it's worth it to stay for the long quiet.