agony
this isn't normal
its not okay to have baseline pain
go see a fucking doctor
are you okay
words. concerns. loved ones. noise.
I wake up.
I wish I never did.
I wake up.
I drag myself out of bed.
I must get up before i'm pinned down.
I'm up.
It haunts me.
I feel my nerves being
twisted
as I wince
I limp to my desk.
pop a piece of gum in my mouth.
it helps me.
I can put two and two together.
I shuffle out my door
I make it to my day. I sit at a desk. Maybe I'm fine after all!
I stand up. It's lunchtime. More gum. I can make it through.
The tide ebbs and flows as I stand. Some days I can walk. Some days I limp
and I end up, at the end of the day
back home, at my desk.
I lie in bed.
the stimulants, drained from my system.
I'm exhausted
tormented
agonizing
fucking
pain
there
is
no
escape
not even in bed
can I rest.